Grief is a natural response to losing someone you care about. There's no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone’s experiences of grief are individual. The important thing is to do what feels right for you.
Grieving can be painful, but the grief and pain will lessen over time and there will come a time when you can adjust and cope without the person who has died.
It’s impossible to predict how you’ll react to the death of someone you care about, even when you know what’s going to happen. You may go into shock or feel numb. You may feel disbelief and that what’s happened isn’t real. You might carry on – or try to carry on – as though nothing has happened. In the first few minutes and hours, you may go through many different feelings and emotions, and that is normal. There’s no right or wrong way to feel and react.
If you’re alone at this time, you may want to ask family and friends, or a spiritual or religious leader, to come and support you.
Grief is not just one feeling, but many emotions that follow on from one another. You may find your mood changes quickly, or that you feel very differently in different situations. People who are bereaved sometimes say they feel ‘up and down’.
Jacinta Bourke is a counsellor and psychotherapist operating in the Ealing W5 and surrounding areas. She is a member of BACP - the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.